


All This and Heaven too

by KatrinaKenyon



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrinaKenyon/pseuds/KatrinaKenyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a post-Valhalla world Tamsin has to deal with starting a new life cycle, trying not to get killed by the Morrigan and working out her feelings for Bo. Easier said than done. With Lauren on the run and the Morrigan's goons out gunning for her, she'll be lucky to get out with both her heart and body intact.</p><p>A/N: Started writing this before season 4 aired, so AU after 3x13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Part One: And the heart is hard to translate**

Tamsin woke up from another nightmare the same way she did every night; sweat dripping down her back and gasping for breath. Every night it was the same. She dreamed about Valhalla. She dreamed about dying again, about dying for Bo; the woman she was still pathetically in love with. Bo had ruined her life, but she had also saved her.

Before Bo, her life was simple. There was Valhalla, her sisters and then there was Odin. Odin gave the orders; she followed them, simple as that. This assignment supposed to be no different than others. What she hadn't counted on was Bo and her subsequent feelings for the succubus. She had wanted to hate Bo. Really, she had, but Bo made her feel things that she had forgotten many lifetimes ago: love, happiness, hope. Until Bo she had forgotten that there was still joy left in this world.

Tamsin had lived for a long time, a very long time, and it was easy for her to slip back into that warrior who killed without hesitation or mercy. It was easy for her to shed the trappings of her humanity, but throughout her various life cycles shreds of humanity had remained. She had needs she couldn't quite understand: a need to do good, a need to be loved, a need to be happy. Needs that were so human.

It was Bo and her compassion and her friends that made her realize this. She was tired of being alone, tired of this unbearable ache she felt in her heart and she was so done with taking orders from Odin and the Morrigan. She hated to admit it, but more than anything she wanted to be part of Bo's stupid happy sunshine gang.

She huffed and tugged at the puke green blanket that Dyson had given her the first day after her death. Her truck was long gone by now. Crashed in an effort to either take out Odin, her boss and Bo's long lost evil father, or at least take her to Valhalla. At that point all she knew was that Bo was in danger and she needed to do something fast. Her only regret was that she involved Dyson in the whole ordeal. The wolf had survived and without sustaining much damage, but the situation could have turned sour fast.

She remembered plummeting off the cliff and then waking up in the shining halls of Valhalla. From her position on the floor she had seen Bo being restrained magically by her father and all around them were her sisters filling up the great hall. The thing about Valhalla was that if you weren't a valkyrie or like Odin, you had to be dead to stay in these sacred halls permanently. Odin was going to kill Bo to keep her there forever. Tamsin had only seconds to make a decision.

So, she stood and walked slowly to the group letting her power build up and crash against the edges of her mind. Her eyes grew large and became black as coal. Her face turned skeletal and her blood ran black with power, showing through her translucent skin. She looked at her sisters and her lips curled up in a feral grin.

She sent out only one thought and in the next moment every single warrior was down.

Tamsin felt clumps and strands of her hair falling from her head and brushing against her skin like petals on their way down. She was dying, but she fought through it. She couldn't remember much about her fight with Odin, but she remembered that she had failed Bo. The shame of her failure burned hot within her still. Her last act was to throw herself in front of Bo and protect her against a blast of angry red energy that would have killed the succubus.

The next thing Tamsin remembered was waking up to Bo and Dyson standing over her looking both worried and relieved. She had been reborn. She was young again and at the start of a new life cycle. Tamsin wondered if this would be her last cycle.

She lived with Dyson now. If she was able to work, she would be saving up for a place of her own or at least a new truck. She slept on Dyson's couch with his scratchy blankets and lumpy pillows. She didn't mind much because it was still a step up from sleeping in the bed of her truck and the company wasn't bad either.

Living with Dyson wasn't as shitty as she thought it was going to be. He supplied her with food and beer and occasionally growled at her to rest. Not that she needed anyone taking care of her. She didn't have much to give the wolf in return, but she tried to keep her snark at a minimum. Try being the key word.

It had been a couple of weeks now since Valhalla and her rebirth. She got tired easily and ate twice as much food as she had before. Her powers weren't very strong at the moment, but she knew they would be strong as ever in a few months. Bo and Dyson knew this too, but continued to fuss over her.

She grumbled about it, but otherwise let them take care of her. And to be honest, while she was getting stronger, she still needed someone to watch her back. Normally, she would just hang out in Valhalla for a few months after her rebirth, but Valhalla was gone now and so were Odin and all the valkyries that were in the hall at the time. She wondered what her other sisters were doing now, the ones that were left on earth.

She sighed and turned over. She needed to stop thinking about Valhalla and her sisters. She didn't belong with them anymore. She didn't even know if she was a real valkyrie anymore. She didn't feel like one. She punched the lumps in her pillow, then screwed her eyes shut.

She woke up to the smell of bacon the next day. Dyson was cooking breakfast in the kitchen in just his boxers. Still bangable as ever. She might be head over heels in love with Bo, but that didn't mean she couldn't appreciate Dyson from afar. She dragged herself from the couch and took a seat at the kitchen table.

Dyson split the eggs and bacon into two portions and gave her the bigger one. She gave a grunt of thanks and then dug into her food without even looking at the wolf. Dyson smiled amusedly and took a seat across from her.

"I have to be at the station by ten," Dyson said in between bites of egg. "You want anything when I come back?"

She chewed and then swallowed before answering. "A life outside of this apartment would be great. I am going to shrivel up and die of boredom."

Dyson put his fork down. "Look, I know it sucks being stuck here, but Trick said it would be safer for you to stay inside while you're…recovering."

"I'm fine," she gritted out. "It's been a month."

Dyson sighed. "I'll bring you back some files. You can do some paperwork. Make yourself useful."

"Fine," she managed to get out around mouthful of bacon. Dyson changed the topic a second later to acquiring a real bed for her to sleep in. She wouldn't mind having a real bed, but she wasn't sure if that meant she was living with Dyson for good now. She wasn't the best roommate.

Dyson left for the station half an hour later, leaving Tamsin alone again. She didn't have a lot to do. She watched TV mostly, surfed the web and played the video games that Kenzi had brought over for her. She also napped a lot. When Dyson was gone she would just sink into his mattress. Yeah, a bed would be good she thought to herself.

This morning she settled for searching online for a new truck. The ones that caught her eye got written down on a piece of scrap paper. An hour into the search, she shivered and rubbed her hands over her arms.

Since she died, Tamsin still had trouble regulating her own body temperature. Sometimes she was too hot, other times like now, she was too cold. She rummaged through Dyson's closet and threw on one of his hoodies. It was large and comfy, but not warm enough. A minute later, Tamsin had on the white knitted cap and the matching mittens Dyson had bought her. She could do without the mittens, but apparently they kept your hands warmer than the regular gloves. Whatever. Finally feeling warmer, she grabbed a beer out of the fridge and settled herself on the couch to watch some TV.

Twenty minutes later she heard a key turn in the front door and her shoulders grew tense out of habit, but relaxed again once she saw it was just Bo. Bo visited her a couple times a week to babysit her and make sure she didn't burn down the house while Dyson was at work. She tried to keep some distance between Bo and herself. After all, it was her stupid feelings for the succubus that got her killed in the first place. Not to mention Bo was still obsessing over Lauren. The good doctor had up and disappeared after Valhalla and the whole crazy fae-hybrid thing.

Bo looked for her every day, following leads that took her to all corners of Canada and sometimes out of the country. Dyson had helped her the first couple of weeks, driving around with her and searching, but after awhile he had to return to work. She remembered Bo and Dyson fighting in the kitchen last week while she was drifting in and out of sleep. He told Bo exactly what she didn't want to hear. Maybe Lauren didn't want to be found. Tamsin agreed with him and so had Kenzi and Hale. The light fae weren't going to welcome Lauren back with open arms and the dark fae wouldn't want her either. She was a traitor to all fae as far as anyone was concerned.

She didn't really know if the doc actually went off the deep end and believed everything that Taft had told her. Tamsin thought the doc just saw an opportunity to get away from the fae and took it. Still, Bo was desperate to find her and now with no one helping, the succubus was running herself into the ground.

Bo placed two takeout boxes of Chinese food on the coffee table before her. Bless her. Tamsin picked up the box closest to her along with a pair of chopsticks. She was starving.

Bo took in her hat and mittens and smiled at her in a way that let her know the succubus thought she was being cute. She scowled and turned her attention back to the television.

Bo flopped down next to her. "What are you watching?"

She shrugged. "Some weird ass show with magic artifacts called Warehouse something. Whatever, the British chick is hot."

Bo glanced at the screen and then nodded in agreement.

She leaned forward to grab her beer with her mittened hands, but the bottle was snatched away from her before it could even reach lips.

"Hey!" She exclaimed.

"You shouldn't be drinking, you know." Bo took a sip and then smiled at her. "Beer is not good for growing valkyries."

She glared at Bo and the succubus just proceeded to finish off her beer. She crossed her arms over her chest like an angry child and tried to focus on the program. Somehow, she found that she couldn't. She was strangely hyperaware of everything. Like how her heart was beating too fast and how her palms were getting sweaty. She could smell whatever fruity shampoo Bo used and she could feel Bo's eyes on her and wished the succubus would just leave. It was too hard to have her so close, yet not have her at all.

Bo scooted closer to her, but she squirmed away trying to keep the distance between them. She couldn't deal with Bo. She knew that she had been more than a little mopey and quiet since Valhalla, even Dyson had commented on it once. She told him it was part of her rebirth. In reality she was just miserable. Trying to get over someone was a lot harder when her alcohol intake was restricted to the six-pack Dyson snuck in for her every week.

For most of Bo's visits she had been asleep, but now as she found herself awake for longer periods of time, she had to endure Bo's visits.

"Tamsin," the succubus said, breaking her out of her thoughts. She glanced up at chocolate brown eyes and for a moment forgot how to breathe.

She cleared her throat. "Yes?"

"You know-." Bo paused to take a breath. "I'm glad you didn't die back there."

Tamsin snorted. "I'm glad too, hotpants."

"No, I mean….I never thanked you for saving my life."

The succubus scooted even closer to her and she soon found herself with her back up against the arm of the couch, nowhere left to go. Bo reached out and took her hand.

"We haven't talked, Tamsin, about any of the stuff that happened in Valhalla or even what happened before all that. The bathtub?" Bo said softly.

Tamsin stiffened and pulled her hand out of the Bo's. She did not want to get into this. Not now, not ever.

"Can we not-." She stood abruptly and nearly fell back onto the coffee table. "Can we not talk about this?"

"Tamsin," Bo whispered, looking at her with worried eyes. The succubus reached a hand out towards her and she backed up even further out of reach.

"Shouldn't you be looking for Lauren or something?!" She blurted out and then cringed.

She watched Bo's face crumble at the mention of Lauren's name and immediately felt ashamed. "I mean… you don't want the trail to go cold," she finished lamely.

Bo said nothing for a while, just looked at her with searching eyes.

She coughed awkwardly and looked anywhere that wasn't gorgeous succubus.

"You're right," Bo finally said while standing up. "I'll, uh, see you later then."

Later that night, she lay on Dyson's couch thinking about Bo and Lauren and all the stupid feelings she had. A lot of her problems would be solved in they found Lauren. If Bo and Lauren were together again, then maybe that would give her an incentive to stop being such a sap and get over the succubus. She was sure the happy sunshine gang would find a way to keep the good doc safe. Of course she'd have to make a few calls. She had friends, well she wouldn't call them friends exactly, but people owed her favors and she was going to call them in.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a post-Valhalla world Tamsin has to deal with starting a new life cycle, trying not to get killed by the Morrigan and working out her feelings for Bo. Easier said than done. With Lauren on the run and the Morrigan's goons out gunning for her, she'll be lucky to get out with both her heart and body intact.

**Part Two: And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged**

Bo couldn't sleep. She hasn't really had a decent night's sleep since Valhalla. Most nights she was up worrying about Lauren. Where was she? Was she okay? Was she safe? A month had passed and the doctor was nowhere to be found. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe Lauren just didn't want to be found and that break wasn't really a break. Still, she couldn't just give up. Not yet anyways. She wasn't ready for it to be over.

The rest of her nights were spent worrying about Tamsin. Tamsin had protected her. Tamsin had scarified her life for her. Tamsin, that obnoxiously rude, entirely too sarcastic woman had surprised her once again.

Bo remembered Valhalla. It was so clear in her memory. She remembered being surrounded by valkyries and her father standing in front of her asking her to be a god with him; immortal, powerful, feared by all. She wanted none of those things. Her father had plans for the fae, to eliminate the weak and let the strong prosper. He wanted a new race of fae and he wanted to rule them.

She had tried to fight him, but Valhalla made her feel so weak and there were so many valkryies. She told daddy dearest that she wanted nothing to do with him and that's when everything went to shit. She remembered her hands and feet being bound with magic and thinking that this was going to be her last moment, when Tamsin suddenly rose from the ground. The valkyrie levitated in the air, black eyes, translucent skin with black veins and Bo swore she could see the shadow of dark wings behind Tamsin. She looked beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

Every valkyrie in the hall dropped dead a second later. The wave of bodies falling distracted her father for a moment, but not her. She felt her eyes flicker blue. She felt the darkness in her rise and swirl, but it wasn't enough and her father was ready for the kill shot.

But Tamsin saved her. Jumped right out in front of her, taking in all that angry red energy. She felt her heart skip a beat as she watched the valkyrie crumple to the floor. Then she got angry and she didn't feel so weak anymore. A new wave of valkyries flooded the hall, but it took only seconds for her to drain the entire room of their chi, including her father's. The Wander's death caused the halls to rumble and shake. The white marble walls crumbled and Valhalla fell. She grabbed Tamsin's body and huddled over her protectively.

The next thing she knew, they were back in the Dal with Tamsin in her arms and Dyson twitching on the floor next to her. The body that had been limp seconds ago moved, just barely and when she looked down, she could see clear green eyes looking back at her.

After Valhalla Tamsin slept for a week straight without waking or moving. It was like she was in a coma and it worried both her and Dyson. Trick told her not to worry about it, that it was normal for valkyries at this stage in their life cycle. Tamsin had been reborn.

Tamsin was so weak at first and slept and ate a lot, but she grew visibly stronger with every passing day. Tamsin's hair was thicker and shining, her eyes were clear and bright. Her skin was had gained a healthy glow. Bo found that with each passing day, she grew to care more about the valkyrie.

Tamsin confused her though. The valkyrie was like a puzzle (and she really sucked at puzzles), but some of the pieces were missing. Tamsin went from hating her to….definitely not hating her.

The valkyrie had betrayed Odin, destroyed Valhalla and saved her life twice. And then there were those wonderful, beautiful things that Tamsin told her in that bathtub. She had been too frazzled and worried about Lauren initially to really think about it at first, but…

_"Your eyes are both brown and blue. Your heart is both strong and gentle. You're virtuous yet you're a succubus. You shouldn't be…"_

_"Be what?"_

_"Be real."_

It all had to mean something. There was a connection between the two of them. There was definitely something there. She just didn't understand it. She sighed. Another problem for another day.

And as if she didn't have enough to worry about there was also the Morrigan. Evony had been very close to being overthrown as the leader of the dark fae after her little stunt had failed supremely. The Morrigan was out for blood now, but with Hale being the new official Ash, the only one she could touch was Tamsin. God, everything in her life was such a mess.

The knocking started when she had finally fallen asleep. She groaned and then chanced a look at her alarm clock.

"It's 6 freakin' o'clock in the morning," she mumbled into her pillow.

She ignored the knocking, but it continued regardless. After five minutes she pulled on her kimono and clumsily belted it before making her way downstairs.

She threw the door open only to reveal a certain blonde valkyrie clutching a duffel bag in her left hand. All her anger dissipated and was replaced with confusion.

"Tamsin?"

"Sorry for being such an ass yesterday."

"Uh," Bo stuttered as Tamsin walked past her. She closed the door behind them and followed the valkyrie into her kitchen.

"Look," Tamsin began before she could even make a peep. "I made a few calls last night and I know a guy who knows a guy who might have seen a certain ex-light fae doctor."

Bo's eyes widened in surprise. She had spent the last 4 weeks chasing down every lead and had turned up with nothing. People don't exactly like talking about traitors of the fae to unaligned succubi. Go figure.

Tamsin dropped her bag on the kitchen table before turning around to face her. "My guy says there's a human woman in Montana that matches the doc's description. Someone saw her helping out the shifter community with some illness. Probably why no one called her in."

"How did you-."

"I know people."

"Apparently. What are you even doing here? You could have called." She glanced at the duffle bag on her table. "Did you and Dyson have a fight?"

The Valkyrie gave her a 'what the fuck' look, before helping herself to an apple from the fruit bowl.

"No, we didn't have a fight. What are we dating?" Tamsin asked, clearly annoyed.

"Well-."

"Let me stop you there. No. We're dudes, bros, whatever. Have I ever wanted to hit that? Sure, I've got eyes, but seriously no."

Bo raised her hands up in surrender. "Sorry, I said anything. So, the bag?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going with you. No one's going to talk to an unaligned succubus who destroyed Valhalla. They'd piss their pants just looking at you."

"Right," she gestured vaguely. "Aren't you still, I don't know, recovering?"

"I fine. Don't worry about it. Now, hurry up and get ready succubabe. We don't want the trail to go cold."

0oo0oo0

Bo snatched the keys away from Tamsin and settled into the driver's seat before the valkyrie could react.

"What the hell?" Tamsin protested.

"I don't need you falling asleep at the wheel and crashing yet another car," she said while Tamsin begrudgingly clambered into the passenger's seat.

Tamsin scowled at her. "Okay, one, I did that on purpose the first time and two, I'm fit as a fucking fiddle."

"Sure," Bo said, drawing out the word.

An hour later at a red light, she glanced over to find the valkyrie fast asleep.

0oo0oo0

_Montana_

Her phone rang an hour after she crossed the border, waking up Tamsin in the process. The valkyrie glared in her direction and then snatched her phone out of the cup holders between them.

"What?!" Tamsin growled.

Bo rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone out of Tamsin's hand.

"Hey, what's up?

"Bo?"

It was Kenzi.

"Yeah, it's me. Sorry about Oscar the grouch over there."

"Tamsin's with you?" Kenzi asked, sounding relieved.

She adjusted the phone on her shoulder before answering. "Yeah, she's helping me with a lead on Lauren."

"Holy shit, bobolicious! Me and Dyson have been looking all over for sleeping beauty. The wolfman woke up this morning and Tamsin was just gone. Left her cell phone too. We thought she had been kidnapped by the Morrigan's goons or something."

Bo raised an eyebrow in Tamsin's direction. The valkyrie just shrugged in response.

"Well, uh…you can stop looking now. I'm about half an hour away from our destination. I'll call you back later tonight and let you know what's going on."

"Sure, fine. And you can tell Tamtam that she's totally grounded when she gets back. Love you Bobo."

"Love you too, kenz."

Bo placed the phone back into the cup holder and then checked the GPS one more time.

"You snuck out?" Bo asked incredulously.

"I didn't sneak out," Tamsin said sullenly. "I'm not a teenager. I'm over a thousand years old."

Bo paused at that. "Shit. Seriously?"

The valkyrie arched an eyebrow in response.

"We're just lookin' out for you Tamsin. When a dark fae abandons the dark to join the infamous unaligned succubus and friends, which includes the newly crowned Ash, that doesn't make the Morrigan very happy.

"I know that, succubus," Tamsin practically growled. "Thanks for the reminder. I didn't leave the dark. Officially, anyways. If I did that, I'd be dead."

"You might just be dead anyways," Bo said sharply. "You're betrayal is a huge embarrassment to the Morrigan, especially since you were a top goon. Evony's already pissed that her little coup didn't work. Now she's just out for blood and you're on the top of the list. You're not exactly firing on all cylinders, so forgive us if we're a bit worried for you."

The valkyrie shut her eyes and took a centering breath. "Yeah…Yeah, I know. And thanks."

Tamsin looked like she wanted to say more, but the valkyrie turned to look out the window instead.

Their lead took them to a town called Calem. It was tiny and run down with a couple of stores and several trailer parks. A large abandoned factory building loomed in the background, all boarded up and graffitied. Probably hadn't seen a single worker in years. The people there looked at them suspiciously as they pulled up into the dirt parking lot of the local corner store.

The sign on the building said Speedy's Grocery in chipped hand painted letters. The bell on the door jingled as they walked in, grabbing the attention of the scruffy bearded man behind the counter.

"You Joe?" Tamsin asked.

Bo could see the man reach for something under the counter. A gun probably.

"Who wants to know?"

"I'm a friend of Aiden," Tamsin said carefully. "I'm here about a certain doctor."

Joe nodded. "Right. Hold on."

They waited as the man flipped the open sign to close before settling back behind the counter.

"She fae," Joe asked nodding in her direction.

"Yeah."

"Alright," Joe said while glancing at the door one last time. "There was an epidemic of moon fever here a few weeks ago. It's usually fatal, but your doctor helped us out. For a human, she's not bad. Anyway, she left about two and a half weeks ago."

"Did she say where she was going next?" Bo asked.

"No, but there was another town down in Wyoming that had an outbreak too. My brother's in their pack. Last I heard, everyone was doin' fine."

Tamsin nodded. "Right thanks."

They drove for another six hours after that before stopping at a motel and calling it a day. The room they rented was small with one bed, avocado green walls and curtains that had been there since the seventies. It was clean at least.

Tamsin claimed the bathroom first and came back out half an hour later in a wave of warm humid air and mist.

"Hope you didn't use all the hot water."

Tamsin smirked. "I thought all your showers were cold. You know, being a succubus and all."

Bo rolled her eyes and brushed past her.

When she came back out she found Tamsin sleeping on the very edge of the bed, as far away from her as possible. A month ago Tamsin was hanging out in her bathtub and now the valkyrie freaked out whenever she got too close.

Every time Tamsin looked at her she could see longing and hurt and confusion. There was a growing distance between them that worried her more than she thought it would. But she had to focus on Lauren now. She could worry about Tamsin later.

Around midnight something woke Bo. She glanced around the motel room blindly, before see felt the trembling of the body next to her. From the glow of the digital clock she could make out Tamsin's shivering form.

"Tamsin," she whispered. "Are you cold?"

When the valkyrie hissed back a yes, she scooted forward and spooned Tamsin from behind, then drew the covers closer to them. She was surprised that Tamsin didn't push her away. She stayed awake long enough to hear the valkyrie's breaths grow even and steady.

In the morning she woke up with Tamsin curled up against her, head on her chest with blonde hair tickling her nose. She shifted her arms to pull the valkyrie closer to her and watched Tamsin sigh in response. Tamsin would probably hate her for thinking this, but the valkyrie could be pretty adorable at times.

0oo0oo0

_Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico_

In Wyoming they encountered two more towns that had been infected with moon fever, with each shifter community claiming to be helped by Lauren. They made their way down to Colorado where their car broke down. They had to wait a few days till it was fixed.

There next lead led them to Colorado where Lauren had helped a faerie and her human lover. Their other leads took them from Colorado to New Mexico and finally into Mexico.

0oo0oo0

_Mexico_

They found Lauren in a remote village working at a human clinic. She left Tamsin waiting in the car and walked through the curtains that served as the door to the clinic. Inside was a long room with rows of beds on either side of an aisle. Her nose wrinkled at the combination of sickness, unwashed bodies and antiseptic.

The doctor was bent over a patient in a bed towards the back of the building. Even with the brunette hair Bo knew that it was her Lauren. A second later Lauren looked up and spotted her. She could see the surprise etched out on the doctor's face.

They went outside to talk. From their position she could see Tamsin watching her from the car.

"You found me," Lauren said quietly with more than a little awe in her voice.

Besides the newly dyed hair, Lauren looked okay. She looked healthy.

"Of course I did. I never stopped looking. I knew you weren't really working for Taft. But I found you, so you can come back and explain how wrong everyone is about you."

"I can't, Bo. I can't go back. They would kill me or worse."

She could see real fear in Lauren's eyes.

"We'd protect you," she said without hesitation.

Lauren looked away from her and let out a huff of frustration.

"Have you ever thought that I might want to be free? Free from the fae. I went with Taft willingly, remember? I'm not going back. I don't have a place there anymore."

"But what about me," Bo said with a voice thick with tears.

"You're fae bo and I'm human. I'm going to age and die in another 60 years and you're going to live for centuries. It won't work. In fact, it wasn't working, which is why we went on a break. I'm not enough for you Bo."

"No, baby, you're more than enough."

"No, I'm really not. And I know that you're a succubus, but I get jealous, which is dumb because you are faithful to the point of starvation." Lauren paused and looked up at the sky before looking back at her with watery eyes. "And it's not just that. I'm not part of your fae world. There are all these parts of your life that I can't be a part of and I… I get left behind, Bo."

The doctor ran a hand through her dyed hair. "I think, I'm just going to lay low for a while and then start over, living a normal human life."

"Then, I'll come with you. We can start over together," she said with desperation coloring her voice.

Lauren shook her head sadly. "We can't."

"But I love you." She sniffled a few times before the tears started streaming down her face. The dam had broken.

"And I love you too, sweetie, but this is goodbye for us."

The doctor pulled her in for one last kiss and then returned to the clinic without ever looking back.

A broken cry escaped her mouth and she became undone.

That was the last time she ever saw her human doctor.


	3. Part 3

**Part Three: And all my stumbling phrases, never amounted to anything worth this feeling**

Bo was so was so distraught over Lauren that she let Tamsin drive, which ended up being an epic mistake. The valkyrie drove eight hours straight and then passed out from exhaustion, sending them careening off the road. They were lucky that the highway they were on was empty and that there were only miles of flat dry land on either side of the road.

When the car finally came to a complete stop, she looked over to see Tamsin slumped over the wheel. Her eyes began to water again and she wondered how the hell she could have anymore tears left after crying nonstop for pretty much the entire time Tamsin had been driving. The thought of losing another person on this trip was too much to handle because, seriously, it would be so unfair to lose both a girlfriend and a friend in one day.

But when had her life ever been fair?

She called out again with a voice rough from crying. When she received no response, she hastily undid her seatbelt and gave Tamsin a little shake.

“Come on babe, wake up.” 

Nothing.

She pulled Tamsin up into a sitting position quickly and then placed her mouth over the valkyrie’s unsettlingly cold lips to give Tamsin some of her chi. The moment cold lips moved against her’s, she felt relief flood her body. She deepened the kiss for a brief moment, just happy that Tamsin was okay before pulling away. The valkyrie’s eyes slipped closed again, but this time just for sleep.

Bo drove them to the next motel she could find and had to carry an unconscious Tamsin into the room. She quickly wrapped Tamsin up in all the blankets she could find and then got into bed behind her. She wrapped her arms around Tamsin and buried her face the valkyrie’s silky hair.

Her life was such shit. Why couldn’t she have been born human or, christ, if she had to be fae why couldn’t she be a frickin’ brownie? She was pretty sure brownies did not get caught up in the type of shenanigans that she encountered on the daily.

Bo drove them back the rest of the way and worried about Tamsin. Worrying about Tamsin distracted her from Lauren and kept her eyes free from tearing up while driving. It also annoyed the hell out of Tamsin.

“You can stop looking at me every five seconds,” the valkyrie said irritatedly. “I’m fine. Besides you’re the one-.” Tamsin stumbled over her words before starting again. “Are you okay? I know you and the good doc were stupid in love and…you deserve to be happy. You’re a good person Bo, like an actual good person. In my world that’s kind of a rare thing.”

Bo could hear the sincerity in Tamsin’s jumble of words. Tamsin’s usual sentences were filled with snark and profanities, but every once in a while Tamsin said these beautiful things to her.

_“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met, in any of my many lifetimes.”_

“Thank you. You’re-…” Sweet. She wanted to say sweet, but Bo was pretty sure that Tamsin would be offended if she did. “Thank you. I’ll be okay someday. I’m just need time.”

Tamsin nodded and turned back to look out the window.

0oo0oo0

Bo lay on the couch dressed in nothing but her kimono. There was a hole in the ceiling and she could see right through to her bedroom. She frowned. She should really start making some renovations to this place.

She heard the jingle of keys and then the turn of the lock announcing what was most likely Kenzi’s return. In her absence, Kenzi had been making visits to Dyson’s apartment to see how everybody’s favorite valkyrie was doing.

Kenzi made her way over to the couch and sighed. “Bobo, I know you miss Dr. Hot Pants and everything, but it’s been over two weeks and god, Bo, you need to take a shower cuz you reek.”

“Hey!” 

“Well, you do and would it kill you to put on some real clothes and leave the house every once in a while. And while I’m on a roll here, we’re gonna need to find a way to generate some cash flow because we’re almost out. I’ve gotta couple of cases lined up, but I need the other half of our super duo to pull herself out of her private pity party and help.”

“Fine, I will shower and put on clothes and work, but I’m not going to be happy about it,” she said while wagging a finger in Kenzi’s direction.

“I’m not asking you to. I just want you to try. I’m worried about you.”

Bo sighed. “You’re a good friend Kenz.”

Kenzi let out a huff of laughter. “You’re damn right, I am!”

She pulled herself into a sitting position and faced Kenzi. “So, how’s Tamsin anyway?” 

Something passed over Kenzi’s face before returning to normal.

“Good! Everything’s good,” Kenzi said in forced cheerful tone.

Bo crossed her arms over her chest. “Bull. I’m not buying it. What’s going on? I thought you said she was getting stronger?”

“She is!” Kenzi said much too quickly. “She’s actually doing much better. So much that she went back to work this week. Isn’t that great?”

Bo jumped up from the couch. Now was definitely the time to get dressed. Kenzi followed behind her as she made her way up the stairs and to her room.

“Kenz, she can’t go back to work! The Morrigan is going to find out.”

“Technically she can go to work. As far as her human boss and coworkers are concerned, her sick leave is up. Besides, Dyson is with her the entire time. She’s a dark fae, Bo. She was going to have to kiss and make up with the Morrigan eventually. She’s probably strong enough to face her now.”

There was no way in hell that the Morrigan was going to let anything slide. Tamsin was in danger and when did she become so overly protective of the valkyrie?

Bo dug through her laundry basket and threw on black pants, a navy blue tank, and then pulled on black knee high boots. She stalked over to her makeshift armory and pulled out a dagger with a thin blade and tucked it into her right boot.

“What are you going to do? Kenzi asked cautiously from the doorway.

“Nothing. I’m just going down to the station for a visit. That’s all. I haven’t seen Tamsin since we got back from our trip.”

“Uh, huh,” Kenzi said, clearly not believing her. “She’s a kickass valkyrie. She can take care of herself.” 

Bo grabbed a set of throwing stars before shutting the armory and passing Kenzi to make her way back downstairs. 

Bo turned and looked back. “I’m just visiting, I swear. Are you coming with me or not?”

Kenzi sighed. “I just got home.”

0oo0oo0

The precinct was the same as it ever was. Busy, with officers and detectives scattered around the room working on various cases. She spotted Tamsin sitting on the edge of Dyson’s desk going over some file with him. They both looked up upon her arrival wearing matching guilty looks. 

_Those two are going to be so much trouble._

“What were you guys thinking?” she hissed. “She’s a sitting duck out here”

Dyson discreetly glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention. “She’s been here for a couple of days already and nothing has happened,” he whispered back.

“We think I’m being shunned,” Tamsin cut in. “None of the other dark fae at the station will talk to me. Hell, some of them won’t even look at me.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Shunned?”

Tamsin sighed. “I’m invisible, Bo. No one’s going to acknowledge me now, including the Morrigan.”

“So we’re in the clear now?” Kenzi asked.

Tamsin shrugged. “Maybe? I think it means I can at least go back to work.”

“So everything’s good then?” Dyson asked.

Bo frowned. “I still think we should keep her home a little longer.”

Tamsin sighed. “I’m all grown up now,” the valkyrie said while gesturing to herself. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

Bo’s eyes tracked Tamsin’s hands as they swept down her body. _Definitely a grown up._

“Hey guys,” Kenzi interrupted. “Did it get really quiet in here or is it just me?”

Bo scanned the room and found that the entire precinct was empty. She tensed and put a hand over her dagger in preparation. In the next few seconds the doors to the room flew open and the Morrigan sauntered in, flanked by two of her henchmen. 

“Well would you look at that,” Evony drawled. “The whole gang is here. I should have known you were with these saps, Tamsin.”

Bo stepped in front of Tamsin, shielding the valkyrie with her body. The Morrigan’s red painted lips curled into a feral smile at the sight of her.

“Oh, simmer down succubitch. I’m not here to kill Tamsin.” Evony looked past her. “And don’t think your betrayal is forgiven just because you’re the last valkyrie left on earth.”

Tamsin stepped past her and made her way to the Morrigan. “What are you talking about?” the valkyrie growled. 

“Oh, honey,” Evony purred while reaching forward to grasp Tamsin’s chin between her fingers. “Haven’t you heard? Since you and your band of merry fae destroyed Valhalla, all the earthbound valkyries have been dropping like flies. Looks you’re the last one.”

Tamsin slapped the Morrigan’s hand away. 

Evony smiled and continued talking. “You’re an endangered species now. The dark fae elders won’t let me kill you, but don’t worry dear, there are worse things than dying.”

Bo could hear Dyson growl from behind her and feel magic rippling in the air. He was close to shifting.

“Unfortunately, I can’t touch you until the elders decide what they want to do with you. We are a civilized democratic society, but you simply can’t break the rules and expect to get away with it unpunished. You swore fealty to me and then stabbed me in the back,” Evony snarled. Her with white teeth flashing. “You killed a dark fae and destroyed another realm. You would be a pile of goo right now if it weren’t for the elders’ protection.”

“If you’re not going to do anything, then why are you even here?” Tamsin snapped.

Evony smirked. “To give you fair warning, of course. When the elders come to a decision, your time will be up.”

And with that the Morrigan left, her two goons trailing behind her. The doors of the precinct closed shut, sounding like thunder in the now silent room. No one moved a muscle. Tamsin stood in front of them still with her head bent, eyes downcast, and hands balled into fists. 

“I can’t be the last one,” Tamsin whispered.


End file.
